Darn. After 4 months of pregnancy with during the first three months a reduced appetite, it happened: my first binge. Immediately all kinds of doom scenarios popped up in my head. Will I gain lots of weight during my pregnancy? Will it be 30 kg? Will I ever again have my old weight back? Will I, as a lady warned me, “never be slim in bikini again”?
This week, I’m very tired. No idea why. Or actually I do know; the baby is now growing extremely fast. This requires energy. As such, I slept through Maarten’s alarm and the doorbell this morning. Today I didn’t have to leave the house, so I spent half the day in bed horizontally.
Haagen-Dasz and M&M’s
I had no other choice. I just could not get up! Or wait, I could, for a 500 ml bucket Haagen-Dasz Macadamia Nut Briddle ice cream and a small bag of M&M’s from the gas station.
Once home I quickly re-installed myself on bed – this time on top of the blankets and fully dressed – and started spooning the ice bucket until the bottom was in sight. I emptied the bag of M&M’s somewhere in between the re-installation and the emptying of the ice bucket, but I can’t remember much of this.
Never ever in bikini again
Although I’ve stopped counting calories, thoughts about gaining a lot of weight during pregnancy, “never slim in bikini again” and not being able to have my old weight back triggered me to fill in my S Health food diary. Just for fun. With breakfast included it brought me to about 2,000 kcal.
That’s not so bad. Especially if I’d go for a walk around the park (because of restless legs and nice weather) and dine light. In addition, I was aware that ‘crossing the line’ incidentally really doesn’t put on weight. And otherwise this will stabilize. Of course I know there will be extra pounds during pregnancy. That, of course, is necessary and logical.
And yet I hate that I binged (note: this was of course not a real binge. Read more about binge eating), as I had the ideal image that I would eat healthy throughout my pregnancy and would only give my baby the best of the best. And honestly as I wanted to not be afraid for excessive pregnancy weight gain. This fear is rooted in the the fact that I had read somewhere that pregnant women are more susceptible to binge eating. It just don’t want to be a victim of binge eating, however, it now seems that the first step is taken and I am slightly worried about it.
Carrot in her hand
On the internet, you often see those pictures of pregnant, smiling mommy-to-be’s with a carrot in their hand, standing behind a juicer in which a green substance is prepared. On a plate the most delicious fruits and fresh vegetables are displayed. I wanted to be that pregnant woman! One with a carrot in her hand, that smilingly shoves a broccoli floret into her mouth, instead of spooning out an ice bucket.
Changed into a binge monster
Alas; Haagen-Dasz puts a spanner in the ice. Instead of that radiant, healthy pregnant woman with a carrot in her hand, I turned into an energy-less, makeup free, pajama wearing, messy haired, half a liter ice bucket eating monster today that hid her empty bucket of ice at the bottom of the bin. Bloody hell.
At this moment I am at my favorite pub typing this story. I’ve just went outside for a walk and have decided that going to the gas station for half a liter bucket of ice cream and then eating it all by yourself one time is not at all that bad. I’m about to finish my walk and I’ll buy ingredients for a healthy, nutritious evening meal with lots of vegetables. Tonight I’ll go for an easy workout and tell Maarten how good the pint of ice cream was while having our dinner. Furthermore: I’ve decided that when I’m tired, I’ll take a nap or go get some fresh air, instead of bingeing on ice buckets.
Mommy’s and pregnant ladies: have suffered from food binges during pregnancy, whether or not accompanied by fatigue? Have these binges persisted and what was their impact?
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